Upsherin Gift Ideas for a Boy Turning Three
An upsherin marks a real change, not just a haircut: from this day the boy wears a yarmulke and tzitzis and begins learning alef-beis. The gifts that land are the ones that belong to that change - something he uses, wears, or is in.
Gifts that mark the change itself
Tzitzis, in his size and in a fabric that will survive him. A yarmulke he chose. An alef-beis chart or a set of letter magnets for the fridge - on the day itself the letters are what the party is about.
A book he is actually in
At three, a child recognises himself before he can read a word, and a book with his own face in it gets carried around rather than shelved. A Torah Tale board book is built for exactly this age: thick pages, short sentences, and the boy himself as the hero of the story, wearing the yarmulke he just started wearing.
Choose the parsha of the week his upsherin falls in, or the story of the day itself. Board books are the 6-inch format and are made to be chewed, dropped and read again.
What to avoid at this age
Long books. A three-year-old sits for a page or two of a story he is in, and not at all for a chapter. Anything with small parts, and anything that needs a grown-up to work it.
If you are buying for the party rather than the boy
Ask the parents what he is short of. At three, the honest answer is usually tzitzis and more tzitzis.
Stories to start with
- Parshas Lech Lecha - Avraham is told to leave everything he knows for a land he has not seen. He goes. Along the way he rescues Lot, argues for the sake of others, and is shown a night sky full of stars and told his children will be as many.
- Wearing Tzitzis - Four corners, eight strings, five knots, and a reminder tied on all day long. A child counts them and remembers what they are for.
- Shabbos - Candles lit before sunset, kiddush over wine, challah under its cover, and a whole day when the world stops asking anything of you. The day a Yiddishe child learns to look forward to all week.
- Lighting the Shabbos Licht - The candles lit before sunset, hands over the eyes, and the quiet tefillah a mother says. The moment the whole house changes.
Questions
- What is a traditional upsherin gift?
- Tzitzis, a yarmulke, and something to do with alef-beis - the three things the day itself is about.
- Is a personalized book a good upsherin gift?
- At three it is one of the few gifts a child immediately understands, because he recognises himself in the pictures before he can read.
- Which format suits a three-year-old?
- A board book. It is the thick-paged 6-inch format, and it survives being carried everywhere.